The Funny Farm: The Lighter Side Of Keeping Chickens 3

Keeping chickens can be a slog. Just like housework, there is no end to cleaning up poop, filling waterers and feeders, and contending with the dust. Then there’s being vigilant to predators, pests and parasites. So there’s got to be an upside, right? And yes, there is. Chickens are worth their weight in gold for their entertainment value alone. If we could bottle and sell their ability to make us laugh we’d all be rich. So when you’re feeling a bit worn down check out The Funny Farm for some validation that you’re on the right track.

Jordan Brown

I’ve never let her have coffee. She’s been a house chicken since she was five weeks old and has unlimited access to fresh water. Yet every single time I have coffee, she acts like a fiend. As soon as she hears the coffee pot gurgle in the morning, she flies into the kitchen screaming Iike a hawk. Every crazy dinosaur sounding noise she can make comes out when I have a cup with me. I don’t know if it’s the smell or just because she’s spoiled and wants everything I have. I love this dumb bird, but I definitely miss my peaceful morning coffee routine.

Chris Pacheco

Some interesting facts about chickens because you need to know these things: Contrary to what people think, chickens won’t only eat what they know is good for them. My Brahmas favourite food is the white Styrofoam board on the outside of the small coop. We put it on in November and then took it back off in November. I spring cleaned the pen this week and found a piece of it behind the brooder. The Brahmas came running. My chickens love pasta, Swiss cheese, CHICKEN and any fruit except citrus, but they refuse to eat Cheerios or fake crabmeat.

Chicks are cute but they destroy everything around them. Mine are two weeks old and they spill their water a zillion times a day. I put it in a bigger, heavier waterer and elevated it and now they spill more water from higher up.

My office is covered in dust because they make it from I don’t know what. And they’re crazy. They are terrified of everything, but they also want to sit in my hand.

Jess Forsyth

My mum had her left leg amputated in August 2020. Her stump gets sore when it gets cold so I made her two covers for it not long after. I made her this new one, now. I’m bonkers and so is my mum, she loves it.

Lindsey Daugherty

These are Loretta’s engagement photos! Our rooster Crow has really been close to her and my kids asked if they were dating – so we did this to ensure she is made an honest hen.

Britni McCauley

Does anyone else have that one chicken that has a very unhealthy infatuation/ obsession with your feet or a particular pair of shoes? This little ball of feathers puffs up, scratches the ground like she’s going to charge like a bull, then promptly waddles onto my feet and sits on them. Side note: I’m not supposed to move or pet her when she does it because it disturbs her Highness; if I do, she will tell me off and leave.

Katie Wood

I have failed as a parent. So today I got my second egg from my chickens and the eggs are green. I showed my son the today’s egg and he’s says, “Mom, why don’t you leave the egg in there longer so it will turn white and get bigger?” My kiddo thinks eggs ripen like fruit!

Rickey Lynn Gans

We now have chickens in our dining room! It’s too hot out for them even with misting fans, swamp coolers and 20 pounds of ice. Our hens have stopped laying. In order to keep them healthy we made the decision to share our living space with them. It’s interesting when you are on a serious phone call like to the bank and they suddenly start doing the chicken song. Really raises some interesting questions on the other end. We are hoping that they will go back to laying soon, but we just don’t know.

Danielle DeVries

Joanna Heath

Help! My one-year-old Cream Legbar is a dirty birdie. I don’t know how to put this nicely, but Maude is, uh, doing gang stuff to the other hens.

I have two roosters, a Rhode Island Red and a bantam Polish. One is being rehomed this week because they’ve figured out how to “tag team” the hens. The RIR takes his time mating the girls, and when he’s done, he holds them down to let his little bantam bestie climb up and take a turn.

But now Maude has decided she too would like to get “thirdsies” and mounts the girls after the two boys are done. This is terrible. I can’t have my girls walking around scared and looking like they escaped an animal testing facility. I certainly can’t let them get injured.

Currently I have the RIR roo in his own pen since he is the ringleader. He has to go this week. I thought I’d be okay keeping just the bantam roo, as he can’t mount hens without assistance, but Maude has apparently decided to fill that role, so I don’t know what to do. Any advice on what to do with a hen mounting other hens?

Kathryn Dunmyer

My 6 year old: What is THAT?

Me: Ice treats for the chickens.

6 year old: Awwww, that’s sweet of you! HEY SISSY, DON’T EAT THE ICE CUBES WITH THE WORMS IN THEM. THEY AREN’T FOR US.