If you’re looking to lose some weight or have a laugh at your expense, then get chickens. They not only give you a literal run for your money but if there’s trouble to be had they will find it. Without their escapades and capers we’d short on stories to smile about and share with our fellow chicken keepers.
Taylor Hupp
There is a first for everything. One of our chickens decided to go on a joyride with me to pick up my daughter from school. I didn’t even know it until all the kids started yelling, “CHICKEN!” and then had to watch me chase after her. Talk about embarrassed. How she managed to hang on I have no idea, but I bet she won’t do that again.
Samantha Dzelak
This morning while garage saling I saw a single chicken walking down the alley. I said to myself, “Self, grab that chicken, put it away and shut their run. Help a person out.” I drove down the ally and saw six chickens out. “Okay self, drive around and see if this person is home, six is a lot of chickens”. No one’s home.” Go to the sale and see if their neighbors have any information. The neighbour: “Ugh, the chickens are out AGAIN! He has 15 they walk around the block ‘free ranging’. We feed them sometimes. So these be ‘block chickens’. Take it or leave it, the girls looked healthy and happy with their inner city free-range life style.
Ariel Henry
Certainly was an interesting day at work!
I drive truck and the truck comes home with me every night. Every morning, it’s the same routine of checking the truck for little stowaways and I’ve never missed one. That is, until today.
I got to the quarry, just finished getting loaded and ready to pull up when the loader man came across the C.B. “Did I …did I just see a chicken run out from behind your truck?!”
I just about died. Yes, he saw a chicken. I don’t know how I missed her. I always put the bed up in the air, open the tailgate and use a flashlight to check everything before pulling out of the driveway. The best I can imagine, she was up on one of the axles or something underneath where I couldn’t see without getting under there with a creeper. She rode 40 miles from the house to the quarry.
Loader man helped me catch her and after the initial shock I was laughing so hard that I had myself in tears. I was the talk of the quarry and amongst my co-workers. I don’t think I’ll live this down for a while.
Her name is now “Peterbilt Patty”. She traveled 400 miles with me today and was a pretty good passenger.
Natalie Byler
At headcount last night we were missing this girl. Everyone else was in the coop snuggled up for the night. Waited an hour, no sign. Walked the property with the dog, no sign. Devastated, I went to bed. Woke up to this indignant face at 7am, peeking through the screen door. Had a busy night out I guess.
Julia Murphy
I’m the one whose chicken likes to run the streets. So Louise was walking around the yard and I saw her climb under the fence and go to the dollar store that’s literally in my backyard. My six year old and I walked around the fence to grab her and then walked to the front of the dollar store and back around to come home. As I was carrying Louise in my arms the two employees informed me that she was walking around in the freaking store yesterday. I apologized and they were laughing so hard and said they loved her and just let her go because it looked like she was on a mission. They said that they knew she was mine and they’ll call me if my escape artist ever decides to go shopping again. This chicken will be the death of me.
Last night, my friend Katie and I almost lost our lives trying to rescue some guinea fowl keets. We ventured over to where they were last spotted and lured them closer with some grain. The plan was that I was going to circle the flock so they couldn’t go back into the weeds, while she caught the babies. Keep in mind that I warned her in advance, saying, “Don’t let them take you!”
Everything was going as planned, until they turned on us. The ENTIRE army of them. Katie was surrounded. They had their wings positioned ready for battle. They started their attack. Katie was in her sundress, wielding a butterfly net and bucket, jumping, screaming, and waving her arms. It was all I could do not to pee my pants as I was laughing hysterically.
By this point, Katie’s caught six. We had two more to go. They took off into the neighbour’s pasture. I went over the gate in hot pursuit. They quickly turned on me. I now know guineas are the reason they came up with the term foul language. They just changed the spelling. One of the keets took off under another fence into some weeds. I stayed on its trail, over another gate I went. I landed in a patch of nettles. The keet escaped back under the fence.
Do you remember that last gate I climbed? It wasn’t straight up and down. It was at an angle and wasn’t quite so easy to go back over. As Katie described it, I looked like one of those old cows trying to hoist itself up off the ground. We aren’t spring chickens anymore. I finally got over it. I caught that keet, but couldn’t find the last one.
Katie saw some of the other guineas trying to escape with it. Remember, I had to be careful. I still had guineas coming from all directions. I was gaining ground as I followed the group with the keet around the grain bin. It was just them and me. Katie was on the other side of the fence with the bucket of babies. She didn’t hear or see anything for a while. She claims she hollered and asked if I was ok. She didn’t hear a response, but she has two young boys and wasn’t risking her life again to come look for me.
Some time passed. I finally came around the grain bin with the last keet, but the army was gaining ground quickly. She yelled at me to hurry because “THEY ARE COMING!” I still had a fence to get over. I finally made it to safety. We got the keets inside, then went back outside to do something else and when we came back to get the keets all but one has escaped INSIDE MY HOUSE. Two hours later, I finally found all of them.
Remember at the beginning of the story when I warned Katie, “Don’t let them take you?” She had no idea what I meant. I meant, don’t let the guineas take your life. Anyone who owns guineas knows what I mean. Moral of the story, find you a friend like Katie: one who will go into battle with you.
Thanks to everyone who sharing their stories and photos.
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Bitchin' Chickens 
Dear Lord, spare me the indignity of having to jump a fence to catch my birds!
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