The Funny Farm: Girls Gone Wild

I think many folks associate chickens with bucolic scenery, a connection to our pastoral history, or as humorous characters in cartoons. Regardless they are often portrayed as ‘dumb birds’, maternal hens clucking softly with fluff ball chicks at their side or hyper-aggressive roosters.

This post challenges those common depictions and looks at the other side of chickens: the opinionated, self-absorbed, indulged, chatty, demanding, and downright spoiled hens that keep us on our toes and, let’s be honest, makes keeping chickens interesting.

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Sherry Messias  

I have a predator proof coop and run and my chickens do not free range. I winterized my coop and run using heavy duty clear plastic to allow light through, but draped heavy-duty green canvas as a second layer of protection for the extra cold wet days. We have had many of those. My girls’ routine is now off the wall where they don’t roost in the coop anymore. They are like girls gone wild roaming around all hours of the night, lying around the run like they are at the beach. I have ten pullets around eight months old with no rooster. They seem happy but should I be worried about how much sleep they are getting?

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Cindy Neubert LaGory  

Ginger is having a serious discussion about her food needs and changes in her accommodations. Ginger is a pistol!

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Michelle Reeves

After being bullied out of their own coop’s nesting box by Big Bird One and Big Bird Two, the two new layers had no choice but to resort to dropping their eggs randomly around the yard for a few days. Then suddenly, the eggs went missing altogether. I thought the big birds might be eating them because they aren’t above cannibalizing the younger generations unborn children to “send a message”. Apparently I was wrong. Today, we found their stash.

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Alice Well  

Valoria, aka “Fat Little Meatball Sandwich,” prefers to stay inside and watch murder shows and eat snacks all day rather than go outside and play. She gets so into her salad she spreads out the remains of her feast and luxuriates in it like she’s taking a dust bath. Side note: since she is so fat, I DO make her go outside at least three times a week. She hates every minute of it.

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Gina Quinlan

So am I doing something wrong? I went out to feed the horses and put the chickens in this evening and one of the chickens screamed “F-YOU” very loudly in a really shrieky voice. I don’t know which one it was but she is obviously dissatisfied!

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Brenna Foster

This is Cutie; she hates me and wishes I was dead. She is also incredibly broody. If I let her have chicks, I’m assuming they would be afraid of me because she is. Or am I wrong to think that? I’d love to let her fulfill her dreams of motherhood but I don’t want any more chickens that hate me.

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Rhianna Kropf

This is Karen. She broke a window in the garage yesterday. After being barred from the garage she returning. I found three eggs that she had laid on my husband’s workbench; all cracked. We closed the door and blocked Karen from getting into the garage, or so we thought. Karen had other ideas. She went through the window, which she broke and jumped up onto the shelf and laid her egg there anyway. I have 100+ chickens and she’s the only chicken who won’t use the nesting box. Karen was named correctly; she’s got a lot of opinions.

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Kanaly S Knecht  

Coconut wants to share with you another great idea for nesting!  Apparently the newly built six nesting boxes with fancy curtains did not meet her standards.

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Valerie Angel Cole

I forgot one of the main rules of chicken tending. Never turn your back to the chickens. I thought I had them distracted with cucumber and was crouched over trying to syringe some vitamins to one of them, and another came up behind me and shook all their dust bath dirt off on me. I have chicken dirt all down my pants now. Then the others took turns attempting to clean the dirt off me and perform a tattoo removal I did not ask for. Never turn your back to the raptors. Though it is better than when I was new to chickens and went to lean in close to make sure my dirt bathing chicken was still alive, and took a dirt shake to the face. Don’t do that either.

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Josh Smith

Ok, here’s a fun one. Who has a bird who refuses to accomplish basic chicken tasks because she wants human help?

I have one girl who refuses to leave the top roost of her coop every single day until I come and get her down. She just hangs out up there until she sees me. She comes to me, but fusses the entire time until I sit her softly on the coop floor and she runs out to join the flock. She does her own thing.  I tell her daily: “Honey, pick any of the other chickens and just do what they do”. She’s lucky I have a soft spot for her; she’s the only reason I go out as early as I do to see them each morning.

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Vanessa Crowe

We all have that one chicken, the one who isn’t the brightest crayon in the box. Meet Grace, she gets into absolutely everything. She runs everywhere she goes and she isn’t graceful. She stomp-runs, it’s the weirdest thing. You can hear her coming like she’s gigantic. She loves me, but also tries to fight me almost daily. She goes anywhere she shouldn’t, no matter if it’s on the ground or in the air. One time I accidentally locked Grace in our basement for seven hours. She eats everything. I couldn’t tell you the things I’ve tried to get to before she ate them. But Grace is happy and healthy. She lives in ignorant bliss and we wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Elizabeth Irwin-Griffin

Who is she? What is she? Why is she? Where did she come from and why does she knock on my back door every morning like she wants to talk about my car’s extended warranty? Why does the rest of the flock treat her like she’s always been here when she waltzes into the coop like she owns it? Why did she steal a gas station taco from my car and where did she get her hairpiece?

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Thanks to everyone who shared their stories and photos. Featured photo: Kateri Felicity Bean