The Funny Farm: Chicken Egg Edition

Hens are synonymous with eggs and the reason many of us keep chickens: whether to eat, sell or hatch chicks. This post touches a little on all of those things with a big dash of humour thrown in. Enjoy!

Priscilla Crabbe-Kandel

Priscilla was laying on seven eggs. Two of them hatched but there were only three eggs left in the nest. Two days later, she had three babies out in the yard with her and no eggs were left in the nest. Yesterday morning there were two eggs in the nest and I assumed they came from the other hens so I grabbed them and set them outside the pen so I could finish up my chicken chores. One of my dogs was having fun chasing the chicks back into the pen every time one came out.

I got done with my chores and the dog and I went inside. I realized I had forgotten those eggs, went back out and they were gone. I couldn’t figure out what happened to them in that short of time, but I got my answer when I found one of them on the way back up to the house. ELLIE! The dog carried them off. Never found the other one.

After supper yesterday evening, my husband and I started hearing baby bird chirping in the house. We gently started moving things around where the noise was coming from, thinking that Ellie had buried that egg somewhere and it hatched. We couldn’t find it and the chirping stopped shortly after that. About ten minutes later, Ellie came and put her paws on my lap and threw up next to me. It was that baby chick and eggshell. I had put the one I found in the refrigerator so I grabbed it and cracked it open. There was a chick in it but it was way underdeveloped.

Needless to say, Ellie can no longer visit the chickens.

Rebecca Brown

I came home at lunch and there were no eggs. So, my egg-eating hen and her BFF went into the kennel of shame inside of the run while I went back to work. Immediately upon entrance into said prison cell, the BFF laid an egg that I was able to rescue. I came home several hours later to two more eggs in the main coop. Woohoo!

My current plan is to segregate the egg eater and her BFF/possible accomplice after breakfast each day. They can rejoin the flock after I come home at 3pm, by which time all eggs have been laid. They can earn general population privileges back once my new coop with rollaway nest boxes is complete.

Jennifer Bullock

I was at the gym and an egg rolled out of my pocket in the change room. I just grabbed it because we have all done this a hundred times.

A lady down from me gives me this weird look and I said, “Hey, I’m just glad it didn’t break this time”.

She says nothing and left … K, you’re not my people.

Duane Wheeler

I was sitting in the hot tub listening to my hens raise hell. I’m up to five eggs from the sound of it and I’m thinking the latest one might be one of those double yolk eggs or she’s just more dramatic. I shall check later but I really should put a camera in the coop for informational things… and comedy purposes.

Laurie Amsden

Someone snuck a copy of “Modern Pregnancy” magazine to the hens and now they want to try water birth.

Rebecca Castillo

Everyone wants to buy chickens to get eggs, but they should be warned how they will give you faces when you go to collect them. After all the money you spent feeding them and time you’ve spent making sure they’re comfortable and warm. I’m being swamped under the heavy load of working out chicken math.

Nancy Montgomery

I had a chipped/cracked egg that was basically on day 18 or 19 that I patched with a melted crayon. Here we are! Baby “Crayola” hatched today all on her own! She wasn’t super enthusiastic about the photo shoot, but in her defense, she’d been working her way out of the shell for 14 hours and had only been out for 5 or 6 when I took this. I kept a close eye on her in case she needed help, but the location of the wax wasn’t a factor.

Sheena Kirkland

I knew it was hot here in Texas… but NEVER would I have expected the conditions to be just right to get Silkie chicks to start hatching inside the egg carton! Back story: I have Silkies, sell hatching eggs and chicks. I had gathered these for someone who wanted to buy them but changed their mind. I do have a broody, but the eggs weren’t under her for very long. They’ve been sitting outside in my husband’s shop for over a week, we decided to toss them. He opened it up and there was a baby! Two more eggs have started pipping, so I turned on the incubator and put them in there along with six other eggs very far along in development.