I’ve always been curious that, according to my Facebook analytics, 89% of my followers are female vs the paltry 11% male. I have been assured that although elusive, there are men who keep chickens, they just don’t like spending endless hours in online groups.
So here’s a post dedicated to the men who are partnered with crazy chicken keepers and those that are a bit crazy in their own right.
Rebecca Jordan
Best husband ever! Back in July I went into Tractor Supply and was told they double ordered their chicks and had too many. They made me a deal.
I called my husband and asked, “How many can I have?” We already had over 65, with 30 more in an incubator.
He said: How many do you want? (Dangerous question)
Me: ALL OF THEM!
Long pause. ”Whatever makes you happy, baby!”
He the real MVP!
Three months later, they are everywhere!
Nicole Goodman
City Boy vs. Country Bumpkin
Hubby: “Oh, I love the vases you put up on the tree! Are you going to put flowers in them?”
Me: “Love, this is to butcher the chickens today.”
Kitty Anthony
Up for discussion: Husband. He keeps telling me I have “enough” chickens. I’ve had it with all this bawk bawk bawk cock talk! Free to good home!
Michelle Reeves
My city boy husband, after coming in from outside:
“There’s something wrong with the red one’s fur. I think it’s got mange.”
The mangy fur he was referring to:
Every once in awhile I find a funny thread in an internet chicken group. What follows are the texts between Courteney and her husband, Jared, which she went on to post online and a sample of the responses to her screen shots.
Courteney Meredith Lance
Me: Y’all, I can’t with this man and these animals. I started with two dogs and three chickens. We have less than two acres. And a four-week only newborn human baby!
Jared Mendelsohn: I am that husband. 14 French Bulldogs, 1 horse, 1 Donkey, 45 chickens. I still want another horse and donkey. Obviously more laying chickens. Maybe even raise some meat birds.
Courteney: Okay, but an emu?! I’m all for animals but an emu is nowhere up on the list
Responses To Their Thread:
If you weren’t married, I’d suggest that what you said could get you lots of hits on a dating site! – Debbie May
My dad did this to us. He would buy and we had to take care of them! My mom put her foot down when he started to talk about ostriches! We already had enough problems with the animals we had. The neighbours tried to sue him over the noise the peacocks made. We took another neighbour to small claims court because his dog ran our pregnant ewe to death and we lost her and both the lambs and the wool from them.
Texas longhorn, sheep, goats, rabbits, geese, chickens, turkeys, guinea fowl, Chinese crested pheasants, and that didn’t include the in-home pets of cats dogs, lizards, rats, mice, hamsters! It was an ark! PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! No more! New babies require a lot. You need to see IF you can handle that and what you already have. Can your monthly budget afford what you already have?! We resented my dad a lot of taking care of his “animal addiction” – Meadow Lynn Young
Honestly my husband wanted goats until I educated him on goats (he only wants fainting or screaming. I’m fine with dwarf and milking, but he doesn’t want those). He also wanted turkeys, which we got this year but we managed to buy meat turkeys and not heritage ones. They got gigantic and were dangerously close to their legs breaking so they got donated for Thanksgiving. There were a lot of really happy folks at my husband’s work though. We will get heritage turkeys eventually. We loved them and their personalities (they are quite stupid). I want an emu, but I’ve researched them and that’s for when I don’t have a baby on the way and I have a fenced pasture for them. – Rhianna Kropf
He’s definitely a keeper – Melanie French
I’m not going to lie. He sounds EXACTLY like me. Right down to the suggested names for turkey names. I am cackling – Lindsey Reynolds
Where did you find him? I need one! I always have the opposite problem! – Lynise Marshall
Asking for a friend: does he have a brother? – Tera Miller
Wait, there are men out there like this? Why do you have me thinking never getting married might not have been the right choice? I only have a dog, three cats, two rabbits and, I think, 15 chickens, eggs in an incubator and a couple of outdoor feral cats that I feed. I could totally use some acreage with cattle, goats and a donkey if that means the husband cleans the barn. I better get to wishing on that star to find that kind of man amongst the unicorns, mermaids and leprechauns. – Miranda Spurling
I’ll marry him if you don’t want to keep him! – Christina Burns Fischer
My husband wants to breed kangaroos, yet says I have too many chickens. – Courtney Picker Crawford
I’m glad I thought I was the only one that wanted all these animals. My husband was very good; every time I wanted another animal he got it for me and took care of them and built cages for them. Unfortunately he passed away and I had no choice but to find homes for everyone: goats, donkeys, chickens and so on. My son and his family moved home and opened the farm back up. He’s worse than me and I’m happy again. I know my husband is looking down and smiling. – RoseAnn Brown
I think I found the male version of myself. I’m pretty sure I’ve texted my husband that exact message thread – Samantha Martin Kinemond
Three dogs, five cats, 73 chickens here! No kids. That unfortunately hasn’t been in the cards. I’m glad my husband puts hard stops on my animal intake. If I had a husband like yours we’d be packed to our ears and in debt just feeding the things – Miranda Lee Brandon
Thanks to everyone who contributed their stories and photos. Featured photo: Jade Hoover
If you have something you’d like to contribute drop me a line using the ‘contact’ button on my homepage.
Bitchin' Chickens 
Now that I am retired, I have indulged myself with some pretty pricey heritage starter groups, and hatching eggs. Limited to 99 hens, not including roos and meat birds, so that I don’t run afoul of the Marketing Board.
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