The Funny Farm: Life With Chickens 2

Perhaps those of you with kids mark your lives as before, and after, children. Never having had kids I can relate by substituting the word ‘chicken’ for ‘children’. Many of us have no idea what chickens can bring to our lives before getting them. In some ways, they do resemble children: the stress of caring for fragile beings, the never-ending work of feeding and, of course, cleaning up enormous amounts of poop. The flip side is that they often reciprocate what we put into them: friendship, bonding and love. The poop is still there but the other things make it all worthwhile.

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Kaylee Johnston

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Tiffany Brandt

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Amelia Acres  

I was working outside, listening to music, when I dropped an earbud as I went to adjust it in my ear. Apparently, my fluffy-faced girl, Autumn, thought it would make a nice treat. She grabbed it quicker than lightning and took off running with it in her beak—with me in tow.

For the next few minutes, I felt like a police officer in a high-speed chase. Okay, so it was more of a slower-paced awkward event—I was ordering her to “stop!” and “drop that right now!, waving my arms like the crazy chicken lady that I am, determined to catch the fat bird who was waddling and weaving around corners like someone dodging Mike Tyson in the ring.

Because of all the excitement, the other chickens thought she must have been trying to escape with something delicious in her beak. And they wanted in on the action.

The entire flock began chasing me—as I chased her. Autumn went around the house, and when I say “around” the house—I mean complete circles, and more than once. This was full-on food zoomies in action with Autumn, me, and a long line of hens and roosters running in circles like we were at NASCAR.

The story ends with Autumn stopping from pure exhaustion—after dropping my earbud somewhere in the leaves. I admit it—I may have been chasing her after she dropped the earbud.  As I stood catching my breath, Autumn looked at me innocently, and a bit wide-eyed and terrified, surely concerned that her human had gone insane and was about to make her into soup. The sole earbud was nowhere to be found. I let Autumn know that she’s a naughty girl and pleaded with her to not eat any more of my belongings. (I think she understood.)

It was an unfortunate ending for me—until my brother photoshopped a picture of my missing earbud in Autumn’s beak to “cheer me up”. Thanks Bubba, welcome to my world.

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Alyx J Shaw

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Shantilla

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Aaron Moran  

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Channa Kristine Clark  

So proud of my girl Carla! She’s raising babies by herself. Her white baby daddy is worthless. He don’t wanna clean butts or put food on the table. He tries to beat her up when he sees her. All her babies are mixed and some may not even be hers. She doesn’t care, she loves ‘em all. Soldier on, mama! I’m so proud.

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Lacey DeAnne Siegelin  

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Jennifer Chalker

One of the girls decided to take a poop on my Silkie. She’s supposed to be the colour of fresh snow but looks like the coat that Nirvana used to wear with a fresh hot one laid right down her back. It’s in the 40s this week here. Would it be okay to bring her in the house, wash her up, blow dry her, and then to put her back with the others or will that dry her out and hurt her because it’s still winter here? She just looks something dreadful and it also can’t be healthy for her. She’s over there thumping away hoping that I’ll give her a little pat, pat, and a petting but ain’t nobody want to pet a poop.

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Brian A Irwin

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Thanks to everyone who shared their stories and photos. Featured photo: Kenzie Kraft