The internet is full of folks posting photos and videos of their kids’ and pets’ antics. Where would America’s Funniest Home videos, YouTube and reels be without them? I don’t have kids but I’ve had animals all my life. They bring pleasure to our lives, but also stress, grief and a hit to our wallets. I figure the least they can do to compensate for our troubles is to provide us (and the world) with some laughter at their expense.
So here goes: stories about the curious behaviours of chickens that lift our spirits and make us smile – admittedly sometimes in a dark humour sort of way.
Kaycie Gist
I spooked my chickens with the obvious threat of a cup of coffee in my hand. Chickens flapping everywhere. Chicken got stuck in my hair. I’m going back to bed.
I would like add that I thought I killed my son’s hamster when I was dusting his room a couple weekends ago. Swiffer duster = the end of the world. I am the harbinger of death.
Lesley Tietz-Holcomb
When do you decide if the playground bully goes to chicken jail and how long a sentence is appropriate? This is Gina. She is being charged with general aggressive conduct as well as misdemeanor withholding of food and freedom, and targeted attacks on a young Legbar.
Dawn Wells
Son of a biscuit!! I pulled into the driveway after a lovely country drive and there’s a giant frickin’ hawk just chilling in the tree above my chickens, who were completely oblivious. I hopped out and ran to get my boots. As I shoved my foot in, my next-to-pinky toe folds in half and makes a sickly cracking sound. Doesn’t matter, I must save the chickens! I grabbed the pool cue and ran after them just as the hawk swooped. Chucked the pool cue at him, didn’t hit him, but scared the literal shit right out of BB, my smallest bantam and the hawk’s target. I had to climb through kudzu and briars to collect all the scattered flock, but I got my chickens all safe and Mr. Hawk did not get a meal! Now my toe is all purple and bent weird, but I saved my flock.
Laura Hess
Meet Daphne, Daffie for short, to go along with Dolly, as they were both found uncomfortably free-ranging on the streets. She has decided the thug life is not for her.
Jennifer Kathryn
Oh, it’s so tiring trying to hatch all these shoebox eggs! I thought Leghorns weren’t supposed to be broody? Don’t tell Eleanor we don’t have a rooster.
Kim Castillo
My daughter was playing with a pool noodle and our hen Esmeralda hopped up onto the noodle and I yelled out “Chicken Noodle Soup”. I cracked myself up. Unfortunately, no one else thought it was funny.
Kendall Melline-Fenn
My rooster likes to point his cloaca at the sun. As the sun moves, so does he.
It’s just his thing. Cloaca tanning? Perhaps. Can someone turn him into a sundial or something? Yes, I am exploiting my rooster for personal humor. Troll away.
Dawn Tye
I have an adopted hen from next door. She’s been casually part of my Rhode Island Red flock for past nine months but she’s a game hen and a real loner. She comes in to roost at night but does her own thing during the day: flies over fencing and free ranges all over property; often broody; lays eggs in hidden places; has hatched out chicks before; great mom.
Today she got into the garage and laid an egg on a workbench. Looks like this: some explosive blood. With some help, we have ruled out a comb issue, cut feet, cut toe, bodily injury that would cause excessive bleeding, or prolapse.
We highly suspect she destroyed a mouse or other small animal. A few months after she came to us we named her “Savage the Roadrunner” She does not mess around. If she were a person she’d be a sniper, she’d have tattoos, and she’d live alone.
Much appreciation to everyone who shared their stories and photos.
Bitchin' Chickens 
Good morning from Jeffrey’s Bay in South Africa. I have a flock of 6 girls, a mix of Australorps and Brahma and Boschenvelds. And a huge rooster called Nugget who is a Australorp Brahma mix. We also have 4 Indian Runner ducks. I love watching their different personalities and antics. I so enjoyed reading the posts. From one crazy chicken mom to all the others (and dads). Keep them stories coming!
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