The Funny Farm: And You Thought Chickens Were Simple

Get chickens they said, it’ll be fun they said. For the most part they are fun, but they can be challenging and downright bratty. And here are some stories that reflect that reality. Maybe folks should check these out prior to getting chickens.

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This is my special needs chicken Boo. She still gets cranky if you pet her in any fashion, since she has a sensory disorder. (Cranky means hard pecks leading up to biting.) So when Boo hops up, she gets tucked into my elbow. When she’s done snuggling, she turns her head towards her tail. Then I have about two seconds to let her go – patience is not one of her virtues.

Often she’s not ready to leave yet, she’s just tired of snuggles. So she goes to my knee and settles down for a rest or a preening session. She looks a bit judgmental here. And that would be correct. She gets frustrated if my lap is not available and quickly runs away if it gets crowded. She understands that if she makes it up first, I will defend an entire leg for her to make sure she is not crowded. Often I sit down and look up to see her barrelling across the yard, intent on making it to my lap first. And if I forget and let someone else sit on the same leg, she will look at me in absolute disgust and try to hop down unless I remove the offending chicken. She definitely takes a lot of careful observation to understand, but she’s a very rewarding little bird, and fiercely loyal. – Green Gables Farm

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As I was putting up my chicks for the night, one was laying under a crate and breathing heavily, (she was 100% fine all day). She felt hot and almost sweaty to the touch. 

I brought her out of the coop and she started having what I can best describe as a seizure, or like she was possessed. After less than three minutes she flapped, landed on her back and took her last breath. She could’ve won an Academy Award for world’s most dramatic death. – Vero Wallo

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This is Blanche. She’s one bad mother clucker. She stares dicey situations in the eye and gives them a wink. She is not derailed by mean people, though they suck. Her feathers are not easily ruffled, though she’s not afraid to correct the narrative. She’s the type of friend who won’t try to solve your problem, but will listen, commiserate, and be mad on your behalf. She likes to fight fair with crazy things like facts so check your nonsense at the door. She is an excellent friend and a pretty cool chick. Be more like Blanche, man. – Rachel Gabel

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Is jealousy between chickens thing? I have three lovely ladies; Odette (They told us she’s a Chabo, but I’m unsure due to her long legs), Beatrijs (Grey Silkie) and Georgette (Foxy Laced Polish) and I love them all a lot. I’ve been getting very close with the three of them over the last few weeks, and learned how each of them likes to show affection. Beatrijs loves to have a cuddle session each evening before I put her to bed, which has turned into our little evening ritual.

A few days ago, Odette kept on running around us and in and out of the coop as we were cuddling, until I had put Beatrijs to bed and allowed her to perch on my shoulder. During the day I’ve noticed that Odette will also peck at Beatrijs’ head or her tail, especially if I’m hand feeding them. Is Odette just a jealous little diva? I tried letting Odette perch on my shoulder while I’m cuddling Bea, like Georgette and Bea sometimes do, but neither of them seem to enjoy it. – Lieven Strme

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My chicken hopped on the table by the ring camera, put her chicken boobies in front of the camera, then she did an about-face and put her everything on display and laid an egg on ring camera. I’d put the video on here but her butt is gross and I didn’t realize until she put hers on display. Now I’m checking butts tonight. – Channa Kristine Clark 

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Strap yourselves in for a dull story about my chicken named Edna. I rescued Edna from the side of the road after she somehow fell out of a wagon taking them to slaughter (the brown hybrid, now vs when I got her back in June).

Since Edna arrived in June, I’ve had to put the stupid chicken to bed every single night as she sleeps everywhere other than in the coop. I spent a lot of money on an automatic door to avoid having to go out there every night but Edna didn’t seem to care about this.

After changing the height of the roosting bars, the layout of the run, putting her on the perch every night she would either sleep on the floor and get pooped on by those above, or leave the coop before the damn door shut again.

I then took to installing a light and running it from the garage. I thought I was clever and even got a Philips smart bulb so I could set a routine on the app for it to come on and off, hoping this would encourage Edna at bedtime to go in and be able to see the perches. Her eyesight isn’t the best and light seems to help her. Much to my displeasure, the bulb is too far away at the back of the garden for the internet to reach despite having a WiFi extender so this plan failed. I resorted to manually putting the light on which gave me a whole other problem. It was so bright inside that they all thought it was daytime and decided to come back OUT of the coop. Every time the light came on like it was a new day.

We are now five months down the line of this war that Edna had started, and today I have won. I’ve now installed a plug-in timer with a baby nightlight that comes on for 45 minutes. It’s bright enough so they can see, dim enough not to trick their stupid brains into thinking it’s daytime. Therefore behold a very proud photo (yes I have cameras on my chickens) of all five chickens INCLUDING EDNA who have taken themselves to bed CORRECTLY.

You might have won the battle Edna, but I won the war. – Unknown 

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Thanks to everyone who shared their stories and photos.

If you have a story to share drop me a line using the ‘contact’ button on my homepage.