The Funny Farm: Not One Of Those Chicken People

Keeping chickens can be a slog. Just like housework, there is no end to cleaning up poop, filling waterers and feeders, and contending with the dust. Then there’s being vigilant to predators, pests and parasites. So there’s got to be an upside, right? And yes, there is. Chickens are worth their weight in gold for their entertainment value alone. If we could bottle and sell their ability to make us laugh we’d all be rich. So when you’re feeling a bit worn down check out The Funny Farm for some validation that you’re on the right track.

It’s me, a “not one of THOSE” chicken people, who would NEVER soak an eggbound hen in my bathtub, and definitely not blow her dry because when push came to shove, I couldn’t bear to see my girl wet and cold outside. And definitely, absolutely not in my hood dryer, which fit perfectly around her and is set on low, making a warm jacket of air around her and lulling her to sleep. Not me. I’m not one of those people. Nope. – Sarah Allison

Last week, my husband and I visited a shelter hoping to adopt one baby hen and give a small soul a safe, loving home. When we met two tiny sisters who had lost their mother, the sadness in their eyes stayed with us. We planned to adopt just one – the smaller one who hid behind the other. But as we filled out the paperwork, we saw them curled tightly together, wings tucked close and heads resting on each other, as if they knew they might be separated. That moment broke our hearts. They had already lost so much. We couldn’t take away the only family they had left. Without saying a word, we both knew – we had to take them both. Today begins a new chapter – one filled with love, warmth, and the promise that they’ll always have each other. – Unknown

I thought one of the kids left their coat on the play-set and then realized it was a chicken stuck there with a moat of frozen water around her. She was rescued and was not grateful at all. – Nickole Beaman

Kinda funny story. Recently my husband had to have knee replacement surgery. I was in the waiting room, waiting and waiting. There was this couple and her sister visiting and I heard them say something about wanting chickens! CHICKENS??? My favorite subject. So I chime in, “Oh hey, I have chickens” Mind you, I have three. Three of the most adorable chickens ever! They look at me and start talking about getting them for food. Then they said they were raised with chickens, and hate chickens (these are not my people). I was getting my phone, as I’m a proud chicken mama, and have pictures of the girls. I said, “Oh we love our girls and when they die I will bury them”. They all looked at me like I was nuts and turned their backs and wouldn’t talk to me anymore. I put my phone away. Instead, I’ll show you two of my sweet girls! – Unknown

Y’all, today I actually saved a chicken! I went into the coop like any normal day, just minding my business and then I saw it: a snake. Now, for anyone who knows me, I am absolutely TERRIFIED of snakes, so this was definitely not the welcome I was hoping for. My heart was racing, feathers were flying, and I honestly didn’t know if I was going to scream or run, but somehow, I managed to distract and irritate him enough that he finally let her go. Luckily, a friend happened to come by just in time to help capture him safely, because there’s no way I could have handled that alone. Safe to say, I’m still shaking a little, but the chicken is unharmed and back with her flock. Today was terrifying, stressful, and somehow heroic, all at once. Definitely one for the books! – Unknown

I don’t go out of my way to test my marriage, but days like today, with nine inches of snow and freezing temperatures coupled with a hundred-plus birds, can certainly make things on the tense side. Nothing bonds a couple quite like arguing over whose turn it is to chip ice out of waterers while pretending we’re not silently questioning each other’s life choices. – Nicole Sliger