Tinder Ads For Chickens: Let’s All Play The Dating Game

I have a rooster and don’t need anymore. I hatch a lot and make a concerted effort to find all the boys good homes. In order to do that, I write eye-catching snappy ads and give the boys away for free.

Here’s an example of one of my online ads:

Question #1: What’s your idea of a fun first date?

Bachelor #1: I’d sing you a little song, do the tidbit dance and bring you some treats.

Bachelor #2: We’d get jiggy and roll around in the ash pile.

Bachelor #3: I’m a bit of a fitness buff: we’d do a few laps around the yard and I’d introduce you to my peeps.

Question#2: My dad is worried I’ll end up with a boy from the wrong side of the tracks. What makes you think you’re worthy of me?

Bachelor #1: He’d take one look at me and know I’m special. My mum, Bif Naked, is a Transylvanian Naked Neck x Black Copper Marans. I’ve got her dark colouring, and my dad, Stunning Simon’s crest, muffs and full-on beard. You’d be proud to walk at my side.

Bachelor #2: I also come from a long line of superior stock. My dad, Stunning Simon, is a Silver Spangled Appenzeller x and my mum is an Easter Egger who lays coloured eggs. I’m a combination of the best of them both: sweet crest, muffs, beard and beautiful patterning.

Bachelor #3: Just like my half-brothers I’ve got the Appenzeller genes and my mum is an Easter Egger who lays coloured eggs. I’m just starting to get my rooster colours and will only get more handsome as I get older.

Question #3: Your brothers are putting up stiff competition. Why should I choose you?

Bachelor #1: Sure, they’ve got the Appenzeller good looks, but I’ve got the Naked Neck gene. Half of my kids are gonna look like they’ve just stepped out of Transylvania. No one’s going to accuse us of being plain Janes.

Bachelor #2: Yard art is great, but I might be carrying the coveted blue egg gene. The only way we’re going to know is if we make some babies.

Bachelor #3: I’m the complete package: good looks, great genetics, maybe the blue egg gene, plus I’m smart and sweet.

So folks, there you have it. Three boys vying for a forever home. They were born September 1st, no crowing yet and they’ve still got lots of developing to do. Their patterning is just starting and will only get better.

If you don’t have a rooster, or have room for another, please consider taking one of them. Chat with your girls and see which one they’d like to present a rose to.